Orchard Ridge United Church of Christ

Preached by Tammy Martens on Sunday, October 4

Ruth 1:1-18

John Shea is a wonderful storyteller and he shares this story in his book The Legend of the Bells.

A disciple asked his teacher, “Why did you never marry?” The teacher replied, “When I was younger I was in search of the perfect woman, and in Cairo I met a woman. She was beautiful and intelligent, but unkind. And in Baghdad I met a woman. She was generous and gracious, but we had nothing in common. This happened again and again and again, until finally I met a woman who was perfect. We had everything in common. She was generous, gracious, beautiful, intelligent…”

The disciple asked, “Then why did you not marry her?”

“Well, said the teacher, “it was sad. You see, she was looking for the perfect man.”

A “perfect” story as we look today at the relationship of Ruth and Naomi whose relationship was neither perfect or without struggle. But it was a relationship that incarnated love, forgiveness, hope, and grace. And so to Ruth and Naomi we turn our hearts today.

From the scripture, we understand that Ruth was the daughter-in-law to Naomi. Ruth was from Moab. Naomi was from Judah. It is very odd that there is no negative remark made in this first chapter of Ruth about Moab because the people of Moab are condemned in the Torah. In Deuteronomy Israelites are commanded not to marry foreign women. Yet no mention is made here in the book of Ruth of this very understood law and the feelings the Israelites had toward Moabites. A curious thing.

We read that Naomi and her husband and two sons travel to Moab to escape the famine back in Bethlehem. Disregarding the Law, both sons of Naomi get married to Moabite women; Chilion married Orpah and Mahlon married Ruth. In the tens years or so that they lived in Moab, all three husbands died. The mother, Naomi, and the two daughters-in-law were left as widows and Orpah and Ruth never were able to conceive and have children of their own.

For awhile the three women try and eke out a living together in Moab. But after some time, Naomi learns that God has eased the famine back in Bethlehem so she sets out to return to the land of her ancestors, accompanied by Orpah and Ruth.

But as Naomi gets closer to her homeland, she starts to realize that this wasn’t a good idea to bring Orpah and Ruth along. Her daughters-in-law would be moving into foreign land. It would not be fair to ask the two young women to give up the familiarity of their homeland in exchange for the unknown of Naomi’s homeland, Bethlehem. It just made more sense for Orpah and Ruth to go back to their mother’s home and see if they could build new lives for themselves there. So Naomi instructs Orpah and Ruth to go back to Moab.

Orpah decides to heed Naomi’s advice and return to Moab—a very smart move. But the surprising twist in this story is that Ruth decides to remain with Naomi. Now surely Ruth would have been aware of the bitter antagonism of the Israelites against her people and the Law against her marriage to Mahlon. Yet she displays no fear about this reality and fully accepts Israel’s God as her own. Ruth’s words to Naomi are so rich with commitment and passion they almost embarrass us. “Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.” In fact her words were strong, her passion so felt, that Naomi could say nothing more to change her mind. Ruth was to remain by Naomi’s side.

As we travel through the book of Ruth we see attributes of both Ruth and Naomi that make their relationship worth our attention. What I first notice is an honest sharing of their limitations. Naomi makes it clear to Ruth that she cannot provide a husband for her. Naomi is too old to find a husband and certainly too old to bear more children and even if she could bear children how could Ruth wait that long. Naomi, in her mind, has nothing to offer Ruth. This is simply the way it is. Naomi goes on to share her utter disappointment with God. She blames God for her situation and feels God has turned against her. She feels hopeless. Her faith has taken a hit and she is not bashful in sharing these feelings.

Yet this kind of raw sharing of her humanity and faith does not scare Ruth away. Despite Naomi’s limitations and despite her anger at God, Ruth is not discouraged. She is determined to stay with Naomi. She is willing to go the distance even though Naomi, because of her overwhelming grief, is unable to reciprocate the sisterhood, the friendship with Ruth.

Perhaps this is one lesson in the text for us today. In our different relationships, friendships, family, committed partners, marriages, etc. there are times when an honest understanding or reminder of our limitations is needed. We cannot be everything to everyone or meet everyone’s needs as you very well know. This reminder hit home for me in a very powerful way this past month. The end of August we got the news that a friend of ours had committed suicide leaving behind his wife and young son. Our families are good friends. I am good friends with his wife. I met with her as soon as I found out the news. In the midst of that time with her, I could not help but feel my limitations as a person. I could not find the right thing to say or find the right thing to do. I could not change the circumstances and bring her husband back. I could not provide any explanation for her husband’s decision to take his own life. Even though my mind was screaming to give an answer, nothing, absolutely nothing could be offered. I could be there with her but I could give her nothing more. There standing in the midst of that grief, I realized again that we are limited beings and recognizing this helps to keep our relationships healthy.

Another attribute that we see in this relationship is Ruth’s ability to allow Naomi the right to grieve. She does not talk Naomi out of her grief or offer trite explanations for the tragic losses in her life. Ruth knew the reality of grief and knew that it would be time and a loving relationship that would help Naomi through. In fact it was the persistent love of Ruth’s friendship which helped bring healing to Naomi. Later in the book of Ruth we see signs of healing. Naomi’s sorrow and depression start to lift and their relationship becomes more balanced and equal. There is mutual sharing and cooperation. They eventually find the healing power of God in each other’s love and perseverance.

Finally, I am convinced that Ruth and Naomi’s relationship endured because they allowed the power of grace to work in their lives. In their day to day lives, and their day to day struggles, in their personality strengths and weaknesses, they knew full well that grace and forgiveness had to be at the center point of their relationship. And we know this simple fact too.

In an article in Sojourners a few years ago, the late Spencer Perkins, an African-American man was paid tribute for his work in the area of church and racial reconciliation. Spencer and a young white man named Chris White had forged a friendship through their church in Mississippi and this friendship grew into a partnership in ministry. They wrote a book together entitled More Than Equals: Racial Healing for the Sake of the Gospel and went around the country teaching that racial reconciliation was possible for Spencer and Chris were living proof of that. But after years of challenging others to live out reconciled relationships, Chris and Spencer were facing seemingly irreconcilable differences. “After nearly going their separate ways, the two received simple but profound counsel from their spiritual mentors.” And do you know what one word piece of advice they were given? Grace. Grace. Because Grace is the nature of God’s love for us, nothing more, nothing less, should be at the heart of the Christian life, Spencer and Chris were told. “Spencer and Chris realized that they could hold on to their grievances and demand that all of their hurts be addressed, or they could follow God’s example, give each other grace, and trust God for the lack. Spencer and Chris chose grace.”
Ruth and Naomi chose grace as well.

To care passionately about the quality of another person’s life, to share limitations and accept one another’s differences, to respect each other’s choices and to give and receive the gift of grace from one another: these are the lessons embedded in the Book of Ruth. Thanks be to God for their sacred story. Amen.