Orchard Ridge United Church of Christ

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It is worth testing our own perception of Thomas – is he the scorned “doubting Thomas” who lacked the faith to believe in the Lord – meaning, of course, we should not doubt, but believe?

Is he the appreciated “doubtful and skeptical” Thomas who models the willingness to question, push and probe before taking something on blind faith – offering at least the possibility of doubt being normal, if not desirable.

Why did Thomas doubt – certainly he was aware of quickly developing rumors that disciples had stolen Jesus’ body or that Jesus had been taken away before he actually died. Was he afraid of some kind of conspiracy and scam?

Was it his way of grieving (the women were afraid, Peter denied knowing Christ, many hid away in the Upper Room)?

Was he the only disciple to be a stubborn “concrete sequential” people who wouldn’t know mystery if it ran over him? Was he simply the wrong Myers Briggs personality for this wildly unbelievable and intangible situation?

There are many theories – and we will never know for sure. We don’t even know for sure why this story is here in the gospel.  I think this is one of the most informative questions.  Is it to lift up the power of doubt in the early church; was it to show the broad humanity of the disciples?

If there is anything universal about living the life of faith – it seems to be that we also live with doubt. Different kinds, different degrees, for some a guide and for some a hurdle. For most of us faith and doubt coexist in a living paradox. Origen, third century Greek commentator on the Bible said about the biblical texts that , “God has put ….conundrums and paradoxes in so that we are forced to seek a deeper meaning.” As much as we may have been discouraged to doubt in our own religious upbringing, it is simply a fact that doubt and faithfulness have co-existed for the entire history of faith.

One of the dangers of our own education is that we often equate faithfulness with intellectual certainty. We come to the question of faith and doubt with our minds. Throughout the history of the church, however, some have suggested a wholly different starting point.

Poet and author Mark Nepo gets at this with the simple illustration of swimming. He writes, “When learning how to swim, it’s natural enough to resist the initial sinking in the water. We seem to be going down. And the more we struggle at the surface, the stronger the pull seems, wanting to take us under. But when we can relax into the water, we settle a few inches into the miracle of buoyancy. Amazingly, the unseen depths hold us up.

This moment in learning how to swim reveals the essence of faith. Forget all the definitions and debates. It’s as simple and difficult as swimming in the ocean of experience and learning how to trust the unseen depths of life to hold us up. We don’t have to name that depth or send messages to it or pray in the dark to it. We simply have to surrender to it enough to feel its buoyancy. Yet these are the most difficult two inches to travel on earth.”

All of my growing up, as I watched and listened to my mom teaching swimming lessons in our backyard pool (with 250-300 swimmers a summer), I heard her repeatedly say “everyone floats.”

It came up because each year she had beginning level students – adults and children alike. As she sought to teach them about the buoyancy of water, she constantly had to reassure students that they would not sink. To the obnoxious skeptics (usually her teenage children’s friends) she had a simple test. Our pool was 3 feet deep in the shallow end and 9 feet deep at the other end. She simply invited the skeptic to begin walking the length of the pool. Even if they could hold their breath to stay under water, they could not keep their feet on the bottom to actually walk. The buoyancy of the water would cause EVERYONE to float. Time after time, people challenged her theory, and time after time she laughed with glee as they struggled to keep their toes on the bottom.

This universal theory was “torpedoed” the day , Keith, a co-camp counselor with Tammy and me for a summer youth program, calmly walked the length. HE laughed with glee as he instructed my mom on the difference in the typical African American person’s body fat ratio (less than whites). While she knew he had best her, it did not deter my mom.

She continued to proclaim EVERYONE floats – in large part because she understood how important it was for new swimmers to TRUST the water. In her mind, this one exception to her rule was not enough to undo the basic issue that the more one doubted the water, the more one fought against the water, the more likely one was to sink (temporarily), get water in their mouth, become scared and panicked.

She loved teaching adults – usually moms of children she was teaching – because they all understood that learning to swim was about much more than learning the crawl. It involved “leaning into trust.” It involved learning how to trust the unseen depths of life to hold us up, and it was for her, I think, an exercise in faith – even though she didn’t use that language.

Ultimately this is not an intellectual stance, but a certain kind of acceptance or agreement with the universe. Doubt and faith do not refer solely to a cerebral understanding of theology, but our ability to live hopefully in the face of mystery. “Faith is not a sentimental thought that all will go just fine, according to our timetable, but that which allows us to step forward into the center of our lives (Salsberg).”

This seems to be a really helpful starting point – as we face the questions and doubts, the curiosities and quandaries of our lives – the question seems to be less, “does this makes sense?” or “can I put this together intellectually?” and more “what will help me step forward into the deep center of my life?”

1. Karen Armstrong, one of today’s great theologians names what many of us would name as a way to step into the fullness of our lives – compassion. We serve, we reach out, we help others, we give of our time – not to push away questions but to live into what we do know to be true – that caring and sharing enriches our lives and the world.

2. Patrice Vecchione, author of Writing and the Spiritual Life, suggests that the life of faith is “a mix of dreaming AND running to the store for a quart of milk.” She invites us to “dive into” the chaos of our lives – relish the confusion, go with the energy, connect with all the people and things around us in a way that reinforces we are ALIVE.

3. One member wrote to me that the memory of times of GRACE give her faith. “The times when God prayed in me rather than (when) I chose to pray; or when suddenly the big sky became luminescent rather than simply beautiful, or a heron flew around my head. I thought at first, this wasn’t anything “I” did or anyone else did — it was God. Then I realized the paradoxical part that did involve a bit of my doing — since grace visited usually in times when I at least permitted it. (Maybe it was because ), I acknowledged by pain or brokenness; or I chose to go for a walk in nature; or I chose to notice what was around me. But then paradoxically even all of that was God’s gift and not my doing.

4. Yesterday some of us celebrated the life of Mary Ann Waterman, whose banners grace our Worship Hall and Lounge today. I shared in that service that quilting, as I understand it, involves taking small pieces of fabric – often leftover, but always disparate, and stitching them together to make something beautiful, and in Mary Ann’s case, functional. This sanctuary was filled with the majority of her 100 + plus quilts, each one symbolizing the ability of one to take what life gives us – it’s beauty and pain, its certainties and mysteries, its hope and despair – and to from that make a life of love, purpose and ultimately hope. As Mary Ann made quilts for her loved ones, or for the church, they each bore witness to the power of hope even if times were tough. They each spoke of beauty when intellectually the world didn’t make sense. They each offered comfort and warmth in a world of oppression and pain. Quilting for people like Mary Ann probably didn’t ease her theological questions – but it did offer the possibility of living into the deep center of her life.

The invitation of this season is to lean into trust by whatever means necessary. How do YOU lean into trust? How do doubt and faith live within you? What practice or activity or prayer helps you to live into, through and out from your deepest, God created center? Let us be in silence while we pray…

Amen

Today’s text: John 20
Jesus Appears to Thomas
24Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it.”
26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
28Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
29Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”